i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
