Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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