I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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