I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
