i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
