Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
