hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
