had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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