I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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