Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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