I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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