She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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