My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love having hate sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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