I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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