every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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