the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize