no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
