Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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