Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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