Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
