my vag is so smooth its legendary
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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