Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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