so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
