he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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