is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
