Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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