belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
