If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
