Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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