I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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