Non-Jews are for practice
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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