just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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