I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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