his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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