another moral hangover. fuck.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
