so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
