Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
