Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
