just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
