we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
