Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
