you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
