just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
