My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The air was thick with penises
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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