I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
