somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
