a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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