Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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