Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
