I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
