So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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