Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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