My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Terrible idea I love it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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