Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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