Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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