i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
