Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
