I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
