I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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