I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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