what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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