Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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